February 14th, 2018. Wasn’t how I expected it to go. But it definitely made me realize two important things. 1) that I’ve found someone who when the going gets tough, he sticks it out. And 2) that I think I’m more in love than I’ve ever been. Actually no, that I AM more in love than I’ve ever been. If you keep reading I’ll tell you how.

So, to start off my boyfriend and I were arguing over what all couples argue over. Absolutely NOTHING! Literally nothing! Over a text that never existed, Lol. However it was something said that really pissed me off and as always I over reacted. Once I said what I said I couldn’t back down. I always say, to mean what you say and well… practice what you preach. But for some reason today I didn’t. Today of all days, smh. So I went and opened my big mouth and cancelled Valentine’s Day…. right what genius would do that? Me of course! But anyways it made me realize that there’s something different about this guy. Any other guy I’d probably stick it out and just spend Valentine’s Day with them just because. But my boyfriend, nooo way! I know what you’re thinking, what do I mean?

So let me tell you once I cancelled I felt like a big a** dummy. That feeling you get when you know an answer but second guess yourself on a test and choose the wrong answer. That’s me! The whole day leading up to V Day was a dragggggg. I’d like to think of myself as a matured individual, so I continued to text him as if the argument we had didn’t happen. Every time he responded to my texts he was drier than the desert! What made me boil inside even more was that he chose 3-4 hour intervals to respond to a simple text such as “wyd?”. But like I said I couldn’t go back. I had to stick it out. I immediately text my close friends like oh sh*t, wth did I just do? Now the hours are leading up to Valentine’s Day and the sadness starts to strike. Because like seriously? We’re really about to throw this memory away over something so minuscule? For the rest of that day I literally just sulked in sadness. Dummy of the year goes to me.

Ok so now it’s February 14th. The day that’ll make me or break me. I text my boyfriend. Cause of course I’m oblivious to what I did. As any female would be, or not. Immediately it goes left. I should of sent the emoji. But I was on edge you know, I ruined everything he had planned for me. I couldn’t spend my day in bed crying so I ran errands. That only lasted for about two hours until I ended up in bed with my kitten. I tried to convince myself that someone out there just found out they got cheated on, someone is getting divorced. I tried to paint any bad scenario in my head just so I can reassure myself that I’ll be ok. Nothing worked. I text my boyfriend at this point I’m scared shitless. Like damn I really messed up. No response. Text again. No response. Text again. No freaking response. Now on a good day that means he’s sleeping. For some reason I couldn’t quite settle with that response.

Now, I’m on my way to the gym with my friend. Going back and forth about if I should call him or not. So….. I put my big girl panties on and call. Thank the heavens, he answered! He was sleeping, of course! As I should have known. And from there things picked up. Which made me realize I was over reacting the whole time. Of course I said cancel vday, but we’d never cancel out each other.

Well, I came to the conclusion that I love this individual so much that I rather put a special day on pause to focus on us. At that point it didn’t matter about the gifts, the candy, the dates, the etc. I honestly just wanted to make sure my bff and I were good. And since we weren’t where I wanted us to be or I thought we should be going into Valentine’s Day I just cancelled it altogether. Anyways, as always we made up. So maybe cancelling wasn’t necessary. But it felt necessary at the time to me. Which also brings me to the next subject. Which is dedicated to my boyfriend. I just want to thank him for always riding out! I know I may think that I know what’s best at the moment, and get things a lil spicy but you’ve never backed out. And that, that’s more amazing than any gift. Because I know I have a man who will be there for me not only through the ups, but the downs. I love you so much and appreciate you.

And as for readers, thanks and stay tuned!