So it all started one night at the gym. Before I knew what to actually do during workouts I faked using machines so that I wouldn’t look dumb. Of course one guy had to come over and give me his two, three and four sense. I let him interrupt my workout because he had an amazing physique. Caramel skin tone, a hair cut, chiseled arms and his legs were toned. My type of guy. His body similar to that of Michael B. Jordan in Black Panther without the scars for each kill (great movie by the way). This then led into him helping out my friends and I in the gym which then led to an exchange of phone numbers….. which led to the Worst Date EVER!

So the night comes and we decide to go to Applebee’s. By the way this isn’t an official date. I had made it clear we’d be going JUST AS friends. I was impressed when he came out and opened the door for me (yeah no I wasn’t impressed because he didn’t do that what so ever). He was, however outside of the car and standing on my side, yet I still had to open the door for myself (thumbs down). Anyways, I live five minutes from Applebee’s, so the ride there was a breeze. Literally! We get to the restaurant. He finds a spot in the parking lot. And at this very moment he decides he wants to have a full blown conversation. He starts off by telling me he’s ready for a relationship (question marks), he feels a connection between him and I (barely know him), he likes me (how can I like him back when I don’t even know his first name?). He goes on to explain he’s a hopeless romantic and he likes to touch, he’s super affectionate and hopes I’m okay with that (which I definitely was not okay with). To be honest I felt creeped out, but I also felt NONE OF THE ABOVE! I tell him I’m not interested and don’t really want a relationship. He’s a cool guy. Don’t get me wrong, but he’s more of a friend, a gym buddy. Plus I didn’t know much about him. We just met at the gym for crying out loud. Day four and you’re already confessing your love for me? Wtf. As I mentioned before. I didn’t even know his name. And he refused to tell me. So we’ll refer to him as X from now on.

We finally get out the car and go into Applebee’s. We get seated. We have a female server, really pretty. Attitude not so pretty. I’ll explain in a few. She seems cool but she also seems annoyed with the guy I’m with. Shortly after she brought out our drinks our server changes. So now I’m totally confused. My “date”, well X and the girl go have a brief conversation. He comes back over to me. He apologizes (don’t know what for) and proceeds to tell me that she couldn’t be our server cause she didn’t want to have to fight me. Me? So now I’m at a total lost, like wtf. What does an Applebee’s server want with me? Whatever. So I find out they used to mess around, talk, whatever. She thinks that the guy and I are a thing (far from), and now hates me. Little did she know she could have him. She could of sat at the table and left with him for all I care.

As if to go and make the girl jealous he starts fondling my hands. Holding me. Getting close. Playing footsies. And all I’m doing is dying a little more inside with each act of stupidity. 1. Because I didn’t know as adults we pull these shenanigans. I was beginning to think that I’m only here with him for him to get back at her. And 2. I’m just here for the food, hellooooooo! Like what don’t you get? I don’t need any physical contact.

So back to our new server. She’s masculine but she has a manicure, yet her hair is undone, but her voice is deep. The whole time she tends to our table her eyes are glued on me. I’m about a drink or two in, so the inebriated me doesn’t notice. The guy I’m with is like I bet she likes you, get her number. Umm, what? Is this a joke? Like I said inebriated me didn’t notice anything (not that I ever do when the alcohol starts to take over). At the same time I want X to know I’m totally and very unavailable. So bring on the challenge! Hoping he wouldn’t go and tell her I like her, because I don’t, and I really didn’t want to be bothered… the mother lover does! She comes back to the table with her number. I mean the whole time the girl was staring. Now she’s staring, smiling, and trying to be flirtatious. I am throwing up over and over in my head, okay? So I tell her I’m not interested. She somehow switches like Jekyll and Hyde and tells me she has a fiancé. Calls her fiancé and tells me she doesn’t want me. This night just gets more and more humiliating. X and I finally finish at Applebee’s and leave. I want to go home, he wants to go out. I’m like whatever at this point. It can’t get any worst. Let’s go!

So, we’re on the highway heading to a hookah lounge and BAM! The cops pull us over. He hands me his phone and has me talk to his uncle. Umm, by the way can I remind you that X hasn’t told me his real name and still won’t tell me. So now I’m on the phone with X’s uncle. Don’t know X’s name and I’m supposed to explain that we got pulled over. Both of us with alcohol in our system. To make things scary the policeman wants to do a breathalyzer on X. Meanwhile I’m still on the phone with X’s uncle while we sort out whatever is going to happen. Uncle and I end the conversation. I go into panic mode like how do I get out of this. All I can think is I’m so young, I can’t go to jail. Knowing I won’t for the most part but still. I’ll be stranded on the highway and how do I explain that to anyone. So I immediately go into sober pregnant mom mode. I pretend to be pregnant and and have to pee really badly. I find snacks in my bag and eat up as if I’m craving them and it must of work. Because just like that we were free. Of course at this point I’m annoyed. Chances of hanging out ever again are SLIM TO NONE. X thanks me graciously on the way to the lounge. I can honestly do without the thanks or the conversation or anything else.

We finally get to the lounge. X must come here often because the security guards know him on a first name basis. How ironic. We go to the back find a nice comfy spot and we’re chilling. Everything’s cool. This is where it goes left. X gets a call from his bro. I over hearhim saying yeah we in the spot bro. Come to the back. “Yeah we in the spot bro, come to the back”..I didn’t sign up for this. His friend comes, with a female. Ratchet 1, and ratchet 2. Wild, loud and ignorant at its finest. Pants hanging low. Braids over a year old. Hoodie with stains. Pants tight enough for a yeast infection. Jeans low enough to be ankle weights. Just straight ridiculous. I said I wasn’t drinking anymore, but at this point bartender pass me five rounds. I’m guessing his bro and the girl were a couple. At least I’d hope so, the way they were going at it. Anyways, this must of somehow influenced X to make a move. Because when he grabbed my face to kiss me I GAGGED! That was it. Time to go. Couldn’t even hide the disgust on my face. Nope. Take me home. And so he did. Him, his ratchet bro, and his ratchet bros girlfriend.

The ride home was awkward. Silent which didn’t bother me but awkward. When he pulled up to where I live he not only dropped me off at the opposite end but also sped off as soon as I got out the car. No goodbyes, no can we hang out again, nothing. And that was the best part of my night.

Long story short, when you see red flags stop! Please take all common sense into consideration. Green means go, and red means NO! Red flags equal evacuate. Sometimes we get signs and choose to ignore them and end up only annoyed. We’re human, so I get it. We think we know that we’re supposed to go left when really we should go right. And there we go back at square one. So my best advice to you guys, is follow the signs. Trust your intuition. And if you see a red flag stay clear. Trust me.