I’m just gonna jump right into this one because I know a lot of us are holding on to situations that should of ended long ago.

1. Either you’re always the first one to hit him up or he just doesn’t text you back. Okay, so first of all in this day and age we are GLUED to our phones. There is no reason as to why every time you text him he texts back a whole day later, or you have to double text in order to get a response. Red Flag! Maybe he’s not that into you and doesn’t care to talk to you.

2.He is always busy. He always has an excuse as to why he can’t hang out. Oh I’m with my bros today, I’m with my bros tomorrow and my bros the day after. Either you’re gay, or you’re gay. And either way that just means he’s not into you.

3.He talks about other women in front of you. Hello sis, he’s dropping hints. He’s doing this because he is clearly letting you know that this HERE is NOT going anywhere. But since were at it what’d you think about her? Friend zone at its finest.

4.He’s not interested in anything you do. I’m not sure about you but I’m jealous about mine, as he is me. Certain shit my boyfriend does I’m actively aware and vice versa. Oh, you’re going out today with who? You work today? How was work? Gym, hmm what’re you working on today? How was your workout? Etc. it’s so easy to be actively interested in someone’s life even if you’re showing interest in the little things. So in simpler words if he does not care about you, he definitely does not care about what you do. Common sense would be to let him go.

5.He doesn’t respect you. You value something when you respect it. If he does not value something as simple as your time let him go. If he doesn’t value your feelings let him go. It’s always his way, or no way at all. If he doesn’t value your opinions, thoughts, etc. sis let him go.

6.You’re always on edge. You can’t be yourself freely. What do I mean? Well for one he’s always criticizing you or complaining about things you do. You can either take it as constructive criticism or you can take that and begin to feel insecure and have second thoughts about everything you do. Nobody should ever have the power to make you feel as though you aren’t good enough. So when you allow someone to get into your head and you start over thinking it’s time to let this person go. In past relationships I was afraid to be myself. I didn’t want to be too wild, too independent, too strong, too smart. So I’d dumb myself down, y’all a certain way, act a certain way, try to be calm and the list goes on. But that wasn’t me. That’s not who I was. And so he had to go. If someone is for me they are for ALL of me. They are for the sassy me, the cranky 6am me, the I’m too sick babe please bring me my water bottle that’s across the room me, the I’m so happy I’m singing in the shower me, and all of the me’s in between.

7. Somehow it’s always your fault, or you’re always doing something wrong, or he doesn’t like that you do this. Unfortunately he has some insecurities within himself that he’s projecting upon you. Instead of coming to face with his issues, he finds issues within you and focuses on those. Nine times out of ten, it isn’t you. It’s him. It’s easier for someone to blame someone else rather than focus on the issue at hand (literally).

8.He doesn’t trust you. A relationship with no trust is nothing at all. He’s jealous and overly clingy. Constantly checking in. Always asking the same question over and over to see if the response will change. And somehow whenever you’re going out to have fun he all of a sudden has a new issue to argue about. Remember these are his insecurities not yours and you do not have to prove your worth if he doesn’t see it on his own.

9.He’s a liar. Self explanatory.

10.He’s selfish. He doesn’t tend to your needs or wishes and expects you to be there for him 24/7. Reality check, it’s okay to focus on yourself. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for choosing yourself over them. Because well, who saves super woman in the end?

11. He doesn’t apologize. His ego and his pride mean so much more to him than you do. So much more that in the midst of an argument he will choose his pride over doing what’s right (apologizing). If he’s wrong he’s right. And if he’s right he’s right. If that is so, leave him.

12.He’s controlling. It’s nice when your boyfriend acts jealous and like he cares until you start to feel suffocated. Know the difference between having someone who is protective and having someone who is controlling. Once you feel stifled and suffocated let him know how you feel. If that doesn’t change anything leave. Once you feel you have to start lying about certain situations in order to avoid an argument, let it go. That’s not a healthy relationship anymore.

13.You’re always making excuses for him. Self explanatory.

14.The bad outweighs the good. No relationship is perfect. Some days are gonna be tough and other days are going to be great. But when you find yourself more sad than you do happy then it’s time to rethink some things. Is it really worth jeopardizing you’re happiness just to feel connected to someone?

15. He doesn’t bring you around his family or close friends. Never brought the idea up to you and doesn’t care to because you’re not important enough to him. Dub him.

16.You’re intuition says no. Trust your gut feeling. Sometimes we ignore that voice in our head because we aren’t ready to be alone. But that voice knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for yourself. So when she tells you No, listen. There’s nothing wrong with being single. In fact this is the time you learn to love yourself. You find out what it is you do like and what it is you don’t like. This is the time to experiment. Be free, be liberated. Have fun! Get acquainted with the goddess that you are. This is your time and nobody can take that away from you.

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

– Stacey Charter