So, as you know Im back on the market and these past few days have been a whirlwind. I legit woke up this morning and thought to myself “Why have I completely removed myself from my situation without a care in the world?”, “Why do I feel sorry for moving on so fast?” And it got me thinking that maybe I’m supposed to be sad. Which isn’t true, but the thought takes over me from time to time.

I have been in two serious relationships, and I have been heart broken both times. I am really good at not giving a shit. I can not give a shit with all my heart literally. But for some reason, I feel bad about not giving a shit. When in all reality I shouldn’t.

Society has this thing about women moving on quickly trying to get back at their ex, or hoe-ing out to seek revenge. Which I think is really bias, and doesn’t make any sense when the point of being single is not being committed to anyone. Not all people suffer from the fear of being alone, some people actually are just quite able to bounce back.

The other day my friend told me how my ex posted on social media about being a hoe isn’t revenge and that’s when it clicked that I actually feel bad for him. One, because he completely doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Two, clearly he’s hurt so he’s going on a meme rampage. And three, I honestly feel bad because I was never the type to intentionally hurt anyone and I honestly felt I should to ease into dating in order to honor his feelings. But… nice for what to these niggas?

Moving on can sometimes means that you are honestly completely over a person, or that the feelings weren’t as strong as you thought they were. So for you the breakup may have been more of a break through where it was a break down for them. I can only imagine how hard it is to be the one on the side of a breakdown. This person is literally left with thoughts such as if you ever really loved them at all, or if you were just swept up with the allusion of love and romance. Either way one of the worst feelings in the world is to go through a breakup by yourself.

In some cases people just simply move on, to something better. Not necessarily someone better. I want to emphasize that it is NOT ALWAYS A PERSON that wakes you up and makes you realize this relationship is not for you. It can be as simple as getting a promotion and realizing that you and your significant other may not share the same goals in life, you may realize that this isn’t what you’re looking for in a partner, that you and your partner have nothing in common, etc. This then makes the breakup easier of a process for you, because this new chapter in life grants you more closure, making it easier to let go. It’s just reassurance for what you already know you have to do. Leave.

So to defend myself, I’d like to say it wasn’t a person, or a new experience. I kind of been done way before the breakup. Everyone leaves a relationship in a different state of mind. I processed my break up long before I actually broke up with my ex. It was easy to leave it all behind because for me those emotions of hurt, anger, and fear were already processed. I had already took the steps emotionally, to leave the relationship.

I will say that I could’ve gave my ex an honest breakup and maybe told him we were breaking up rather than just block him on everything. But when you’re fed up, sometimes there’s really just nothing left to say. However, I would never want anyone to give up on me the way I gave up on him. And for that, I’m sorry. This post is not to be bitter and I don’t wanna stray away from how amazing he was. But sometimes you just outgrow people. You realize this is no longer for you. I know one day he’ll make a perfect husband, boyfriend, father, but he wasn’t it for me. Good people, just not good together.

My mom always told me, it doesn’t make sense to be sad over something that didn’t make you happy. And she’s absolutely right. But how is it that some people tend to move on in a heart beat, while it takes others months, years, maybe even the rest of their lives. The fact of the matter is that we’re all different. Some heal faster than others. And that’s okay.