It’s been a while, but I promise I’ll be posting more. Just wanna share a very special trip with you guys. This year my friend and I decided to celebrate our 24th birthday on vacation! We hit Florida, Bahamas andddddd CALI! Omg, I don’t even know where to start…..

So, we get to Florida, (day 1, btw). We’re set to fly in to Orlando. Flight is smooth, ofc I can’t sleep. I can never sleep. We get to Orlando, and head straight to our hotel. My friend she’s hungry and so am I. That’s not surprising. The lady at the reception desk of our hotel tells us that the walk to the nearest supermarket is about 15 minutes. We’re New York natives, so of course we don’t know any better. We set out on our journey only to found out that walk is not a 15 minute walk but a 40 minute walk. A 40 minute walk along the side of a highway in Cale Canaveral Florida with barely any lights? Doesn’t sound right to me. Mind you this is only the beginning. We end up stopping midway and calling an Uber both there and back.

We finally return to the hotel with snacks and WINE! Yes, the party has just begun. Let me just tell you, wine drunk is a ridiculous drunk. How is it that I end up with rug burn on my knee, lol! One glass of wine and I’m finished.

Okay, so it’s day 2! My friend realizes she didn’t print the necessary documents for our cruise. Dealing with dumb and dumber here. We’re literally up and down the hotel trying to find a printer. We find a printer, out code from the email is somehow not found. At this point we have to get to the port. We’ll figure it out when we get there.

We made it! They looked us up, checked out ID to verify it was us since we didn’t have paperwork and we are in the works. However they stop me, to tell me my passport picture is disappointing and ask me if I wanna do it over. The guys exact words “this isn’t flattering, you agree?” Well I mean do I have a choice at this point? Anyways, I end up taking a new picture for my card for the cruise.

Okay so we’re settled in, listened to the crew announcements about evacuation and what not. All the boring but informative stuff. Vacation finally begins.

First stop, the bar! Second stop liquor tasting! Third stop karaoke! Okay so my friend and I we showed up and SHOWED OUT! Okay, one performance we did of Beyoncé Best Thing I Never Had, and we won metals for karaoke. Lol, you couldn’t tell us anything after that. We made friends with these other two girls and ended up doing a collar, we sung Tootsie Roll. People were actually calling my friend Tootsie Roll girl the next day. I can’t lie tho, she killed that performance. Lmfao!

Fourth stop ladies night at the club! This is where the magic happens. Married men become single. Couples forget they have a room to do the nasty in. Eighteen year olds are excited because they can drink. Singles are more than ready to mingle. Then there’s my friend and I and we are laughing hysterically at it all.

So it’s day three of our trip, day two on the cruise. We’re at sea all day. Nothings happening, just regular live entertainment throughout the boat. Competition with old men sliding down poles and young women sniffing their hairy chests (btw I can not make this up). This is happening and I’m all the more merrier as I eat my life away and drink tequila in the blazing sun. By the way FOOD ON THE CRUISE IS ENDLESSSSSSSS. I WAS IN EATERS HEAVEN! We ended off this day wine drunk in our room.

Day three of our cruise. We arrive to our first stop. Today we’re going bike riding along the Princess Cay of Bahamas. However, I can not ride a bike to save my life. Luckily my friend and I missed our tour guide time and ended up getting our own personal tour. Which was amazing because nobody was there to yell at me for not keeping up. My friend thought it was hilarious and kept looking back at me to make sure I wouldn’t fall off my bike. She had a kick out of it. Believe me. Yet, she somehow ended up in the bushes. So I’ll just leave that to say, sometimes we must humble ourselves because although we may be more experienced we can sometimes fall off our high horse. Lol JOKING!

By the way I’m trying to sum up the most exciting parts for you guys. Keep in mind this was a two week trip!

So back to the cruise, it’s Day four and we purchased vouchers for a pool party at Freeport Bahamas. Tickets say we have to board the bus by 8am. What time do we get up? At freaking 12 noon. We get off the boat, rushing only for the locals to tell us a cab to our event is 35$. We immediately turn that down. So senor frogs is literally behind us and I’m like fuck it, DJ, Drinks… we’ll turn up here. Lord have mercy…. did we turn up. But I’ll tell you all about that on the next post.