For years, I let beauty trends tell me what was beautiful and what wasn’t. Growing up, I was constantly chasing the approval of a world that couldn’t decide what it wanted. At 14, I went to a salon to have my thick eyebrows thinned out to match the trends. I remember sitting in that chair, feeling the sting of wax and the pull of strips, all for the sake of looking “relevant.” Looking back now, I can’t believe I let a beauty standard make me feel like my natural self wasn’t good enough.

But beauty standards are fickle, aren’t they? Thick eyebrows are back now—plastered on every influencer’s face as if they’ve always been in style. It’s wild to think about how much time I spent trying to erase what was naturally mine to fit in.

Fast forward to today, and I’m sitting here, 30 years old, unapologetically embracing the things I once felt pressured to hide or change. My locs, my nappy roots, and even the beauty marks that dot my skin—they’re no longer things I tolerate. I love them. They’re me.

The same goes for the latest obsession: the BBL trend. It’s everywhere, and honestly, it’s exhausting. I’ve felt the pressure to keep up with that too, but I’m done bending to trends that don’t align with who I am. I’ve worked hard to build my body the natural way. Every curve, every muscle—it’s a product of hours in the gym, consistency, and sweat equity. My body wasn’t bought; it was built, and I take so much pride in that.

Learning to love my body wasn’t a switch I flipped overnight. It’s been a journey filled with unlearning old standards, ditching the need for validation, and just living authentically. I’ve stopped giving energy to trends or opinions that make me feel less than. My body isn’t a trend, and my worth doesn’t ebb and flow with what’s in or out.

It took me 30 years, but I’m finally unapologetic about who I am. I love my locs, my nappy roots, my beauty marks, and this body I’ve worked hard for. I’ve learned to embrace the natural version of me, the one I used to feel I had to change to fit in. I don’t go to the gym to fit a trend; I go to honor the body I’ve been given and to flaunt the results of my hard work.

It’s sad that it took me so long to get here, but I wouldn’t trade this self-love journey for anything. Because now, when I look in the mirror, I see a woman who is strong, confident, and authentic. She’s me. She’s that girl.

To anyone reading this, still untangling themselves from the grip of societal expectations: Be patient with yourself. Your journey won’t look like mine, and that’s okay. Embrace what makes you unique. Let your natural beauty shine—whether that means thick eyebrows, locs, or beauty marks. The version of you that stops trying to fit in and starts loving what’s naturally yours? She’s worth waiting for.

Because when you finally become her, you’ll know.