Co-Parenting and Personal Growth After a Relationship Ends

Let’s talk about something real.
The kind of real you can’t sugarcoat.
The kind of real Tyler Perry’s new movie Straw puts on full display: the exhaustion, the rage, the weight of carrying everything—alone.

That film wasn’t just storytelling.
It was a mirror.
For the moms crying in the shower.
For the moms working two jobs and still showing up to every parent-teacher conference.
For the moms holding their pain while trying not to pass it on.

As a parent coach and a Marriage and Family Therapy student, I’ve worked with children and families in transition. I’ve also lived through my own transformations. I know what it means to heal while parenting—to grow while your children are watching. It’s a high-wire act with no safety net. But I promise, you’re not alone.

Here’s what I’ve learned—both in the field and in the classroom—about how to heal, grow, and co-parent with strength, even when your world has shifted.

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1. Your Healing Is Their Foundation

You don’t have to be perfect. But you do have to be present.

Your child doesn’t need a mom who never cries.
They need a mom who knows how to cry and still gets up the next day.
They need a model for how to feel, how to regulate, and how to recover.

When a relationship ends—whether by choice or heartbreak—your grief matters. You don’t have to hide it. But you do have to tend to it.

And yes, your kids feel it too. They may not have the words, but their behavior often tells the story:

• Tantrums
• Withdrawn moods
• Acting out in school
• Regression in potty training or sleep

They’re not being bad. They’re just expressing what you’re feeling—differently.

And here’s something I say often as a parent coach:
When children act out, remember—they feel the same things you do. They’re just learning how to name them.
If you’re sad or missing your ex, chances are they are too—especially if they were close.

Create space for that.
Make emotions normal.
Model self-soothing.
Let them see you do the work and love them in the process. That’s healing work—for both of you.

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2. You’re Not Just a Mom—You’re a Person, Too

One of the hardest parts about single parenting?
People stop seeing you as a whole woman.

You become “strong.”
You become “independent.”
You become a “provider.”
You become “the one who stayed.”

But underneath all that…
You’re human.
You’re still grieving, still dreaming, still desiring, still becoming.

And yes, you deserve love again.
But even more than that—you deserve peace, softness, and support.

Don’t lose yourself to the identity of motherhood.
Let your kids see you pursue goals.
Let them witness your glow-up.
Let them hear you say “no” to what drains you and “yes” to what fills you up.

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3. Co-Parenting Isn’t Just About the Other Parent

I say this with love:
You can’t control what your ex does.
But you can control how you respond, how you protect your peace, and how you keep showing up for your child.

Tools that help:

• Parallel parenting when co-parenting is toxic or inconsistent
• Family calendars and shared custody apps like OurFamilyWizard
• Parenting plans that prioritize stability over personal drama
• Boundaries—firm ones—with clarity and consistency

And above all: regulation over reaction.
Your child is watching.
Every sigh, every phone call, every heated exchange.
Teach them emotional maturity—not by being emotionless—but by showing how to manage emotions when things get messy.

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4. Let Go of the Guilt. Keep the Grace.

Single moms often carry invisible guilt.
“Am I enough?”
“Did I break the home?”
“Will they resent me?”

Let me tell you this as a professional and as a woman who’s been in the field:
Your presence outweighs your perfection.
You can mess up and still be magical.
You can cry and still be courageous.
You can co-parent imperfectly and still raise a whole, emotionally intelligent child.

It’s not about getting it right every time.
It’s about getting back up every time.

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5. Personal Growth Is Still on the Table

You’re allowed to evolve.
You’re allowed to go back to school.
Start a business.
Run a marathon.
Get therapy.
Fall in love again.
Change your mind.

Your life didn’t end when your relationship did—it shifted.

The real you might just be emerging now.
Don’t silence her.
Let your kids witness your evolution.
Because they’ll grow up knowing what growth looks like in real-time.

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Final Word: You’re Not Broken. You’re Rebuilding.

If Straw showed us anything, it’s this:
There’s a breaking point in all of us.

But that’s not where the story ends.
It’s where the rebuild begins.

So mama, give yourself grace.
Let the healing be messy, but yours.
Let your children see you rebuild—with intention, with therapy, with boundaries, and with love.

Because healing while parenting is hard—but it’s also holy.
And you, even now, are doing sacred work.

✨ Affirmations for Single Moms Healing While Parenting

Speak these over yourself. Breathe them in. You are allowed to be the nurturer and the nurtured.

1. I am doing my best, and that is more than enough.
2. My child doesn’t need a perfect parent—just a present one.
3. I can hold space for both my healing and my child’s needs.
4. I am allowed to grow, grieve, and glow—all at once.
5. I release guilt and welcome grace.
6. I am building a life rooted in peace and purpose.
7. It’s okay for me to need support. I deserve to be supported.
8. Every day, I become more aligned with the woman I’m becoming.
9. My past does not define me. My power is in the present.
10. I am raising emotionally healthy children, and healing my inner child in the process.

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📌 Pro tip: Save these affirmations in your Notes app, record yourself reading them, or put them on sticky notes throughout your home. Healing isn’t just about what you feel—it’s about what you speak.