Sobriety has been tugging at me for a long time, not in a dramatic rock bottom moment, but in a quiet, persistent nudge I could no longer ignore. Growing up with an alcoholic father shaped the way I view alcohol in ways I am only now fully understanding. Watching someone you love depend on a bottle leaves you with lessons you did not ask for but still carry. As he ages and I watch the long term impact of those choices settle into his body, it has become impossible to pretend that alcohol is harmless. I have seen the difference between a life lived in moderation and a life lived with no brakes, and I want better for myself.

That desire for better is what led me to embrace what I call my sober(ish) soft girl era. The “ish” comes from something I picked up watching Vanderpump Rules, the term California sober, meaning giving up alcohol but still smoking weed. That idea stuck with me. It felt realistic. It felt gentle. It felt like a way to grow without shocking my system or expecting instant perfection.

And truthfully, I think I can do without alcohol. I do not crave it anymore. I do not want it to be my comfort, my celebration, or my coping mechanism. I have watched what it stole from my father, time, clarity, health, connection. Those are not losses I am willing to accept for myself.

Going sober(ish) is not me trying to be perfect. It is me choosing intentionality. It is me choosing mornings without fog, days without guilt, nights without numbing. It is learning to sit with my feelings instead of drinking past them. It is choosing softness, honesty, and growth over temporary escape.

And here is the part that feels the most empowering, this is not just about rejecting alcohol. It is about breaking generational patterns. It is about becoming the healthiest version of myself so I can eventually stand fully on my own with no vices, no substances to lean on, no habits that keep me from facing myself head on. Weed is a transition, not a destination. I am taking it one intentional step at a time.

This journey is rooted in self respect. It is rooted in wanting to show up for myself in ways my father could not show up for himself. It is rooted in rewriting the story instead of repeating it. And every day I choose clarity, I feel a little freer.

If you are reading this and contemplating your own path, let me say this, you do not need a dramatic moment to decide you want better. You just need the courage to begin. Healing is not linear, but it is powerful. And stepping into your soft girl era with intention, that is power.

I am Not Drinking Anymore And Honestly I Love That For Me.