So many times we let relationships define us, break us down, make us go crazy. But why? Recently my ex boyfriend pulled a Tristan Thompson on me. We weren’t always perfect, but something was off. I felt it. We had just got back together and the ship was smooth sailing. And then just like that it happened. He told me I don’t make the home worth coming home too and then uploaded these ridiculous snaps. Just disgusting, something I’d never wish any female as a girlfriend would ever have to see. Anyways, I didn’t let it make me bitter. At this point I was over the whole relationship. Ready to throw it away. I cried, but I felt anew. It was that push that I needed to feel free. I immediately blocked him on everything. Deleted our pictures. Threw out the gifts he gave me. Completely done. But, it is in this instance that I reclaimed my peace and found my strength. I didn’t need an apology, a call, a text. I was good without them. I didn’t need closure, that was my closure. People who value you will never put themselves in a position to lose you. I do not need a guy to make me happy, and I do not need to feel sorry for myself. Because for once in my life I loved someone and did everything I could. And knowing that alone makes me feel good. I wasn’t the bad guy this time. We as females are always seeking out for answers we already know the answer too. If we aren’t seeking then we’re acting out. As my friend would call it, the breakup tour. Trying our hardest to make it seem like we’re doing great. Proving to the world the break up didn’t break you. But it’s fine if it did. You’re never okay when you lose someone that meant so much to you. But you don’t need a post, a quote or a new man to seek revenge. The best revenge is working on you, for you. This breakup has motivated me to do things I’d never do before. Nevertheless, I’m turning my pain into progress! It’s time to focus on me, solely for me. Breakups should be glorified as breakthroughs. That’s essentially what you’re doing. Breaking through those boundaries. Reclaiming yourself as a single woman. Why be sad over someone who robbed you of your happiness?

This generation of millennials are so hard on themselves. We wanna be in a relationships, we wanna travel, we wanna live life. But you don’t live life until you appreciate the struggles. You have your whole life ahead of you. Find what you love and do that. Forget about the men. Men will ALWAYS be there. Get into the habit of doing for you. You don’t need a man, you don’t need money. Just find what makes you happy and hold on to that. In past situations I’d cry and beat myself up. But for what. I am in control of my life and my happiness. You’re in charge of your life at the end of the day. You have a say in everything you want and don’t want. So what’re you going to do about that?

When you’re a good woman they always come back, believe me. But don’t let this make you bitter. People come into your life for a reason. So don’t be so hard on yourself the next time around.